I refuse to measure a man using trump as my guidepost, but that doesn’t stop so many other Americans from doing just that. Harmful Behavior can come in all shapes, sizes and degrees - it’s a spectrum that does not start and stop at pussy grabbing. Inappropriate touching is still inappropriate even if it happens to be less extreme than what trump is known for getting away with. He has officially set the bar of “acceptable behavior” for men in power to a new low, shifting blame off of lesser predators and gaslighting us into accepting violations of our space and bodies.
It’s so incredibly easy to keep one’s hands, nose and lips to ones self, yet here we are in 2019 being sold the old, “innocent fatherly affection” line as if it’s something we should expect from politicians, even after #metoo, acting like those of us calling it out are in fact the strange ones... instead of the grown man handing out free, unwanted attention. Since when is it his job to provide grandfatherly affection to the daughters of the men he works with or any of the female acquaintances he meets with? Literally no one asked for this so why are we still expected to let it slide?
Ever since #creepyunclejoe announced his 3RD run for president, I’ve watched people make excuses for his behavior and tear down those speaking their truths about him. Well, hate to break it to them but he’s not America’s Dad, able to freely cuddle whomever, whenever, he’s one of the most powerful men in the country, who you’d think would understand the basic concept of consent and have the ability to read the body language of the people he’s touching without asking.
Not only is the man’s political record actual trash - google it - poor Anita Hill - but he was specificly chosen to keep white heads from exploding over having a black president. He was then softened, turned into a lovable BroFFs meme and is now primed to progressively pretend his way into the White House. I will admit that I was privileged and naive, I saw only that lovable meme too, casually chillin with Obama, but that all changed after my peek behind the curtain, by learning his record and finally, witnessing the creepy uncle joe footage on YouTube. I am beyond disgusted and throughly upset for those young girls and the women who have since come forward with unsettling stories of their space being violated, of them being infantilized and belittled in professional settings by the most powerful man in the room.
None of these women and girls are his family, they don’t know him and yet, they are expected to accept his forced affection without question? Not only is he allowed to be too close to their bodies, touching them without permission, but democrats will gladly defend his “right” to do it. All because “Well He didn’t grab em by the pussy!” or as a random dude told me last night on facebook, “I mean he didn’t lick her asshole! Lol it’s not that big of a deal!” So that’s where we are, that’s where they want us to believe the line is now. If it ain’t a public display of a forced sex act, then apparently it’s fair game, hell, even acceptable.
They like to say things have change, that maybe they need to start “changing with the times” but we know the only thing that’s really changed is that we now have a voice to say NO MORE. Voices that can no longer be easily silenced, not in the age of social media. It was never okay to invade personal space without permission, never okay to touch without consent, they just did it anyway because they knew they could get away with it and did a majority of the time. If a grown man still doesn’t understand this in 2019, I really don’t want him as President, period. No more groper-in-chiefs!
It can’t STILL be too much to ask for to have agency over our own bodies and who touches them, right?! Not just the violent, scary, obviously unwelcomed advances but also the smaller, seemingly innocent violations that are often overlooked. The uncomfortable face of a girl being grabbed and pulled in close, stuck there, frozen in the last place she wants to be waiting to be released. If he would just see her, he’d see the face of someone unhappy to be touched. But nope, it’s on her to make that point known, it’s on her to stop his behavior, forcing her to have to make that verbal request, oh and better make it loud so everyone can hear, then maybe, just maybe they won’t blame her later for not speaking up. That’s just not how things work when the man making you feel this way is the former Vice President of the United States. That’s scary and shocking, chances are she remains quiet, waits until she’s safe and away from her grabber before being able to fully react to it. Our silence we use as safety is often used against us, calling it out after the fact is unacceptable, that unless we scream NO in the exact moment those hands, that nose or those lips are forced upon us - in public, at work, or when our dad is getting recognized at his job, we just must not have been uncomfortable enough.
In reality, its just not as easy to speak up as people like to make it seem, it can be traumatic to challenge someone with infinitely more power than you while everyone watches on without question. A simple “No” doesn’t always end an uncomfortable situation so there are times when staying quiet until you’re safe might be the safest thing for you in that moment. Maybe it’s time we start holding more powerful men accountable for where their hands are instead of holding victims accountable for proving they’ve suffered. Maybe we don’t vote for yet another guy who can’t keep his hands to himself, regardless of how decent or fatherly he may seem.